expand -r

there is a peculiar bug somewhere that causes -r to not actually behave
the way the manpage says. it's documented as

       -r, --no-stop-on-upgrade, --no-restart-on-upgrade
           Do not stop service on upgrade.

but in reality somehow this ends up as restart-on-upgrade=1 still.
expanding the -r seems to produce the correct result.

we really need to upgrade our debhelper